First, the good: The Panty Play is made from Tantus’ premium silicone (care info). Despite having a matte finish, it is very soft to the touch and doesn’t drag like I thought it might. If silicone could be considered petable, then that’s what this would be. It only comes in purple, but that’s okay, it’s a nice shade.

Panty Play is designed for biological females and is intended to be worn, nestled up to your vulva and held in place by your panties, hence the name. It is a solid piece of silicone with, what I am dubbing, wings. The wings are on either side of a large bump, and they form a tip in the back. On the underside is a hole for a vibrating bullet, which is how the toy is powered. Let’s break each part down.

The wings are pretty straight forward. They cradle your labia from front to back and should carry some vibration, though not much. They are fairly thin and flexible. The very back portion, as in the part that goes toward your vaginal opening, has a ticker piece. I find that the vibrations are muffled throughout the thin portions and do not really carry to that piece anyway.

The mound, bump, lump, hump… I’ll stop now… is meant to rub up against your clit and sit up in between your labia. It is the largest piece of the toy and it sits directly over the bullet. Because it is solid silicone, it does carry vibration, but it is more muffled than a hard plastic toy.

The bullet holster on this toy is brilliant. It comes with a watch battery bullet, like all Tantus vibrators. (I never use their toys as vibrators, I use them as the fabulous dildos that they are.) However, if you’ve ever had a silicone toy with a bullet hole carved into the bottom, you’ll know why they suck. Bullets get stuck in them, even when you use lube in the hole first, they can still stick! But Tantus has fixed this by created an opening with ribbed sides, allowing air to get all the way through the bullet cavity and preventing it from suctioning itself into place. BRILLIANT. This was the first toy I’d gotten from them with this design, but I’ve since seen it on others, I hope this is the new trend. I’m not going to sugar coat the situation with the bullet itself, though. It’s pretty crappy. The vibrations are not strong enough to really get past the deadening of the silicone, and then… watch batteries. Ugh. Now, I have not personally tried it, but from everything I hear, the We-Vibe Salsa is the way to go. It is small, plastic, rechargeable, fits into all these bullet holes, and is STRONG. Lilly says it is strong, and I believe her. So if you’re tired of watch battery bullets, but love the toys they come with, maybe check that out. I hope to get my hands on one and report back.

So, back to Panty Play, and bringing it all together. It sounds decent enough in theory, but there are too many flaws for me. One is obvious, it is difficult to simultaneously wear and operate something like this, so it isn’t going to be great for public. If that’s what you’re looking for, of course. The bigger problem, however, is less obvious. Anatomy.

Vulvas are different, ya’ll. Some of them have no labia, some have excessive labia. Some have more minora, I have none. My very sad finding was that this toy simple refuses to play nicely with my anatomy, and I want to help you avoid having the same problem. Here’s a handy dandy vag map, in case you get lost.

I have, what I feel are, fairly average labia majora. However, I have no labia minora. I make up for it with a rather pronounced mons pubis, and while my clit is not particularly hidden, it does not protrude. All of this is important, because for this toy to work for you, you’ll need to consider these things. I do not think my labia are the problem, I do think my mons is. Having a large mons pubis means the toy cannot get pushed high enough to reach my clit, making it a sad, sad tease.

I think that the Panty Play could work, but it will be for people with specific anatomical arrangements. Your clit should be accessible, and your mons less pronounced. You should not have extremely large labia, of either variety. You should either be very sensitive to vibrations, or be prepared to change the bullet out for something with more power. I know that’s a lot of hangups, but I want to make sure you understand how specific a set of circumstances there are in order to ensure success.

The reason I’m not slaughtering it is because I think Tantus meant well. It isn’t a bad toy. It doesn’t hurt me. It just doesn’t work, either. I do think there are better options. Either a wearable vibrator like the We-Vibe III or Lelo Tiani II, which are both controlled via remote. Or maybe even a decent corded bullet.

Vulvas come in a variety of shapes and sizes, so it is difficult to find a one-size fits all solution. Unfortunately Panty Play missed the mark, or my clit, as the case may be.

 The Good…

Best Strap-On Accessory: Tantus Leisure A truly fantastic dildo for pegging. It is thin enough for beginners, tapered for easy entry, and long enough to reach into tight spaces.

Best Clit Vibrator: We-Vibe Touch Best rechargeable toy I currently own. It has deep, rumbly vibrations that get me off consistently, every time, and with no further assistance needed. Plus… TEAL.

Best Internal Vibrator: Fun Factory Big Boss This toy marks the first time I, and other reviewers, enjoyed internal vibrations. If you can get past the fact that it eats lube like ninja turtles eat pizza, it is an amazing toy.

Best Lube: Sliquid Organics Ya’ll, this stuff is so good that there’s a bottle in my travel bag, one in my night stand, and another at my partner’s house. ONCE YOU GO SLIQUID, YOU NEVER GO BACK.

Best Large Toy: Tantus Luke O2 When this one arrived it was the biggest dildo I’d ever owned, and I was a little scared. Never having been a “size queen,” I wasn’t sure how I’d like it. I also wasn’t sure about how straight the shaft is, no g-spot curve, wat? This toy brought me to the dark side, or girth-side, as the case may be. I now sometimes get cravings for something massive occupying my vagina, and this toy satisfies. Oh, and my g-spot, it’s just fine thankyouverymuch.

Best G-Spot Toy: Tantus Adam O2 Speaking of my g-spot, this was one of my very first dual-density toys, and I love it. The head is squishy and comfortable, the curve gets it to my g-spot every time. It’s an excellent choice for a harness as well. Love.

Best Kink Toy: Babeland Rubber Paddle Best ouch for your buck. This thing is beastly, really. But I love having it in the toy bag, it’s unique and offers sensations unlike any other toy I’ve tried! It also makes people whine, you’ve been warned!

Best Butt Toy: Tantus Neo The only toy on this list that I haven’t reviewed yet, it’s just that good that I couldn’t wait! This plug is amazing. I was fortunate enough to be able to test the prototype, and it was love at first… feel? I also let my partner try it, and he said that it was the best plug he’d ever tried. The tapered tip makes entry a dream, the base is fantastic, the silicone is soft and silky. You’re going to adore this plug, and I can’t wait to write a full review gushing about it’s awesomeness.

Best Toy That Just Works: Obsession Bullet Vibe I owned many bullets over the years, from many different manufacturers. Back when I first ventured into sex toys, these were my best friend, but I just assumed they all broke after a month. Not this one, nope. It is still going strong, and I still love it. A great, basic toy that I think everyone should have.

The Bad…

Tri-O Cock Ring: This thing is really just a CBT device in disguise. No, really.

Moist Lubricant: Some lubes are meant to make you tingle, this shit just burns. Also, it smells like silly putty.

Galaxy G: It didn’t seem awful at first, but with repeated use I found that it does nothing but hurt. It hurt me, it hurt my partner. It pokes and puts pressure in all the wrong places, and I feel like I’m going to break my pubic bone while trying to find my g-spot.

Solar Bullet Vibe: The toy that caused me to exclaim “WORST VIBRATOR OF MY LIFE,” though it has been unseated by some of the toys below. There’s the horrible, but eco-friendly packaging, that hits on all sorts of super popular buzzwords and has some seal that Cal-Ex pulled out of their asses. There’s a handy light built in the tip which, in addition to making it near impossible to clean, makes it feel like someone is spelunking in your vagina.

Digital Delight: I wanted to like them, I did. But giant silicone hulk fingers that hurt? No thanks.

Tantus Throb: I’ve never met a toy with more drag, or one that collects more vag juice. Yuck.

Bswish Bgee Deluxe: Deluxe, my ass. “Unless you like vibrational intensity equivalent to a summer breeze across your nether regions, walk away and never look back.” Need I say more?

The Ugly…

Lelo Oden: A nearly $200 toy, when it came out, that didn’t work. Crappy gold plastic, a battery door that’s a pain in the ass and requires a key. A remote with vibrations stronger than the actual toy, but one that won’t work through labia or with person-to-person contact, at least one of which is required for use of each Sensemotion toy. This is the top toy I wanted to throw against a damn wall, or as Epiphora would say “When I Use This Toy, My Desire to Throw It Across the Room Rises Exponentially With Each Passing Minute.” To their credit, Lelo has since re-release the line with improved remotes and vibrations. However, the chintzy plastic accents and brooch remain.

Jack’s Blowjob Lessons: I co-reviewed this atrocity with Sugarcunt, Bedroom Blogger and Insane Hussein. Choice quotations from the man-of-a-thousand-blowjobs include: “he is giving me incredible pleasure from letting me suck his hard, tasteful cock” and “he is letting you suck his dick – which is amazing, because there is nothing in the world you love more than licking, sucking and stoking your mans dick.” But the real kicker is: “Blow jobs are in some way a method to convey make dominance over the female. It is natural for a man to be dominant in sex, and by giving him a blow job you are showing ultimate submissiveness – and thereby giving him the ultimate pleasure. Remember girls – this is NATURAL, that’s the way it should be by nature. So forget about feminism when giving head.” There’s also a little gem about how if you reach around to a guy’s ass, he’ll punch you. Rightfully so, since it’s just an automatic reflex. So, yeah, we’ve got a real winner on our hands.

Picobong Mahana: Not only could this toy double as a torture device, but it’s impossible to clean and the controls are inside you. Oh, and if you can get past the pain, you still won’t be able to feel the vibrations. This review includes a roundup of complaints from around the internet that prove this toy may be one of the worst ever invented. To

The Weird…

Best Alternate Purpose: Tenga 3D Spiral A toy for bio-males that is the best thing that ever happened, to me. It was like Viagra, in toy form.

Best Lube Wrestling Toy: Tantus Super Soft Adam It’s like Stretch Armstong‘s dick, and it’s fun to hit people with.

Best Worst Parody Porn: Saw: A XXX Parody You’ll never look at chocolate pudding the same way again. I didn’t actually review this, though maybe I should someday. I have, however, shown it at a Halloween party (while we carved pumpkins) and turned the infamous “Your Hot Mouth” song into a ringtone. Epiphora wrote a bit about our shared adventure watching it with Sugarcunt here.

So that’s it, the best and worst of the last year, and my reviewing career thus far. I already own a few toys that will possibly surpass everything listed here, so I can’t wait to do next year’s list. I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday season and a beautiful New Year. Here’s a toast, to more dildos, dominance and debauchery in 2013!

However, I cannot deny that it is a phenomenon, and I’m glad that women feel comfortable enough with their sexuality to buy a book like this in such mass numbers, over 60 million copies. Many people are now wanting to take their fantasies to the bedroom, which I also highly encourage and promote! Because of this, even mainstream toy retailers like Adam and Eve Sex Toys have put together 50 Shades of Grey and Kinky Toy sections. Now, I hope that all of my regular readers know that I won’t let you go buying jelly anything, but readers that search Google for 50 Shades themed toys may not know. While I would like to be able to steer everyone in the direction of my favorite artisan paddle and flogger makers, that is just not practical for someone new to the kink scene or someone just dabbling for the first time. So, for those people, I’d like to give you a shopping guide of the most affordable options that are still up to my standards.

We’ll begin with my favorite, kegel exercisers. There are a ton of shoddy vaginal balls out there, and quite a few good ones. But if you’re new to the toy market then there is only one you need to know about: Lelo Luna Love Beads. They are widely accepted as the best on the market for many reasons. They are super high quality, come with a warranty, can be sanitized and the weights are adjustable. Better yet, not only do they actually work, but they are comfortable. This is not something I’d suggest skimping on, these beads are worth every penny. (My full review will be published at a later date.)

No kinky play would be complete without some bondage items!

• Silk restraints are the best introductory item, in my opinion. They are soft, sensual and sexy, but they can also be very effective. If you’re new to bondage and want to start small, this is the way to go.
• Bondage tape is really nice because it is super versatile and affordable. You can use it to tie someone to themselves, the bed, or anything else you can think of. It will only stick to itself and is even reusable if you remove it carefully.
• Door jam restraints, which I reviewed here, are a reasonable option. They are great for someone who prefers to remain vertical during play time, are not permanent and easily hidden away when not in use. Also fantastic for hotel rooms!
• The Under Bed Restraints are a decent option because they are super easy to install, and can stay in place all the time, just tuck them under the mattress when you’re not using them. They can be adjusted to be fairly secure, or left loose if you want some freedom of movement while still having the feeling of the cuffs.
• Spreaders are a good idea for slightly more advanced players, and can allow the top to position the bottom in many, lovely, compromising positions.

I hear tell that the book may include a vibrating metal plug, but those don’t actually exist. So I’m going to give you some better ideas. A very nice beginner plug is the Tantus Little Flirt and for intermediate and up there’s the Fun Factory Boosty. Both are made from high quality silicone (care info), can be sanitized and will last a lifetime!

Impact toys are a BDSM staple, but they can be very expensive, some cheaper introductory options are:

• Riding crop, very nice effect as an accessory, one of my favorites. Can leave welts, though, so start gently and work your way up!
• Flogger, my favorite to have used on me. A good flogging session is like a kinky back massage!
• Fur lined paddles are great because they do double duty. Use the paddle side as an impact toy, and the fur side to rub over the warm, sensitive skin when you are done… and don’t underestimate a good over-the-knee spanking!

Some other nice options are a blindfold or gag. I’d recommend a bit gag for beginners because it does not completely fill your mouth, there is no blocking of air, and you can still make noise if needed. Nipple clamps can also be a fun addition.

There are complete kits like this one in red that includes cuffs, blindfold and a flogger. Though cute, I’ll warn that the flogger falls are made from ribbon and are much more fantasy than real impact. For a bit (understatement) more money, you could spring for the Lelo Dare Me kit, which includes a blinder, restraints, whip and Luna Beads Noir, which are lovely and exactly the same as the beads I mentioned at the beginning of the post. This is the kit in the above photo.

Now that you know what toys to buy, let me give you some basic safety hints:

• Communication is Key! I love that you want to explore new things with your partner, and I want it to benefit your relationship. Discuss your fantasies, and hopes for the outcome of your adventure. Talk about your hesitations, and limits. It may not seem sexy, but when you’re in the moment, and you know that you’re on the same page, I promise it will be worth it.
• Have a Safe Word! I don’t care if it’s Magic Bananas, but choose something that you both agree on and can remember. I suggest colors, Yellow means “Slow down, this is getting to be a bit much, but I want to keep going”. This could just mean too much spanking in one spot, that you need to shift positions etc. Red means stop. No questions asked, just stop. Give them a handkerchief to waive or a ball to drop if they are gagged, and watch for it. Be sure and honor your partner by following through. Checking in throughout your session is a good idea, at least until you get a feel for everything.
• Bind Safely! Never leave a bound person unattended, ever. Especially if they have a gag in. Watch for pressure points and be sure to not cut off circulation. Make sure the position you put them in will be comfortable for the duration of your play. Always have a quick way out, toys can be replaced but people can’t!
• Watch Where You Swing! Impact play can be great fun, but be sure to start small and work your way up. Try not to hit the some place repeatedly. Beginners should stick to the butt and thighs. Be careful with the knees and the lower back, the coccyx is there and you don’t want to hurt it. Light to medium flogging on the back should be okay for most people, but don’t bomb the kidneys!
• Consent is Imperative! Nothing should ever be done without the full understanding and consent of the other person (one of the major issues I have with the book). All limitations should be discussed and respected. Consent cannot be given if the person is under emotional duress or the effects of drugs or alcohol. Discussions should be had when you are sober, and preferably, not turned on at all. SSC stands for Safe Sane Consensual and is an excellent guideline for all interactions.

Tips for Tops: You are being entrusted with the greatest gift anyone can give you, themselves. You should have the utmost respect for anyone who wishes to bottom or submit to you. It is your job to ensure their mental, physical and emotional well-being throughout the scene. If that sounds like a daunting task, good, it means you are taking it seriously! Be sure to make yourself aware of any special conditions, physical or mental, the bottom may have, and then respect them. Everything must always been done with full consent. A true Dom/me knows that their submissive is the most precious thing they own, keep this in mind even if you are not in a D/s relationship. Further information is available in many books, one of which you may be interested in is The New Topping Book.

Tips for Bottoms: First, know that you can be a bottom and not be a submissive, these are totally different things. It takes great trust and bravery to hand over control to someone else, and I applaud you for it. Be sure to communicate your needs before, during and after a scene, do not be afraid to do so. Never push yourself to do something you feel is dangerous just to please someone else, your safety is paramount. If anything is ever done without your consent, stop the scene immediately. Remember, at the end of the day, you are the one with the power to say no, which means you are the one ultimately in control. Once you have a suitable partner, and have communicated everything you need to, relax and enjoy. Further information can be found in The New Bottoming Book.

Tips for Everyone: Have I mentioned communication or consent yet? Yes? Well hopefully you’re getting the picture that this is the single most important idea of BDSM. When discussing fetishes and kinks remember to keep an open mind, no one likes to be judged by their partner. If you are finding a new partner online, exercise caution. Meet and play (if possible) in public the first few times. If you can join your local community (via Fetlife or a local dungeon) then do so, find others who can help you in locating a safe and suitable partner. If you must meet someone random, go in public, perhaps not alone, let others know where you’ll be and have them check in with you. Have a password only you know to give them the heads up that things are fine, or that they aren’t. Do not let someone you just met tie you up away from other people, this seems obvious, but in the moment anyone can make a poor decision. Be careful, and remember that once you’ve found someone, this can be great fun!

I could not possibly cover everything in this short post, but I will be posting a BDSM series in a couple of months that will go further into the intricacies of this sort of play. But for those of you who found inspiration in a book, I hope that I may have helped. Go forth and have hot sex, I’m here if you have any questions, I wish you the best of luck!

The Tantus Echo hanging out in a Tantus harness, a killer combination! Don’t forget to check out all the other Toy With Me Tuesday posts via the link below!

“You’ve always dreamt of going bareback on a tight ass while you stroke a hard cock, so what are you waiting for? This handheld masturbator has a pair of perfectly round ass cheeks connected to a thick 7″ cock!”

How did you know, this is exactly what I’ve always wanted!? Okay, so maybe I’m not the target demographic, but still. Wait, strike that, it’s labeled as a unisex product, we’re back on! Also, let’s glorify unprotected sex, while we’re at it.

“This bad boy will let you fuck his bubble butt while you reach around and jack him off! Slap his big round ass and listen to the whack–it sounds and feels just like a real ass!”

Just like a real ass! Only tiny, and made of “Fanta Flesh”

“Wraps around your cock and clings to every inch of your pleasure rod with each stroke.”

Mmm… pleasure rod.

“As always use plenty of Moist Lube for an extra wet encounter”

Yesss… just what the experience needs… the burn of nettle extract!

"I wonder what dildos contemplate when they stare out the window"

I took this photo as part of my review of the Tantus Adam 02. For some reason, I quite like it. Plus, in keeping with this month’s theme, it is a fantastic toy for use in a harness!

Don’t forget to check out all the other Toy With Me Tuesday posts via the link below!

I frequently post on Twitter about my misadventures with my partner when it comes to strap-on play. While he is very interested, he is also very inexperienced. For some time now he’s been working with various dildos and plugs to warm up so that I can top him. The first time we tried, it was an epic fail. There was a bad harness and a dildo with a blunt end, it just didn’t work. After a long hiatus, we went in for a second time, this one being more successful. Why? Tantus. Plain and simple. I had a better harness and I used the Leisure.

The best features of the Leisure that I find are the tapered tip, making for easy insertion. The smooth, firm silicone allows it to glide easily and stand fairly upright in a harness. The length, I cannot stress this one enough. If you happen to have some of the problems we do, the you’ll love the extra length, which is difficult to find without accompanying girth! My partner has, for lack of a better term, a deep butt. His cheeks are firm and prominent, making it more difficult to enter him, especially from behind. Add to this the common problem that I and others have, if you aren’t fairly thin or you have any sort of belly, the first several inches of a toy can be rendered useless. Biological males have a similar phenomenon, where their penis appears larger when they lose weight, because the base is essentially being covered by fat and appears shorter. Well, I have that problem with dildos, though a different harness can help. Belly + Deep Butt = Disappointment, and I know we aren’t the only ones to have these problems. This is why the length of the Leisure is extra useful, you have plenty of space to really get in there. Plus, since it doesn’t change in size, the whole thing is easily still comfortable for a beginner.

The Leisure is actually marketed as a vibrator, because it has a nifty space in the bottom for a bullet vibe. My partner likes vibrations, so this is nice for him, though I tend to use most Tantus toys as the fabulous dildos that they are. The vibrations are fairly muffled by the silicone, so just be aware of that going in.

Overall, I have to name the Leisure as my go-to introductory dildo. It is made of the best toy material on earth and is the absolute perfect size. I recommend this toy to anyone who has an interest in pegging and needs a solid toy to get started!

From "How to be Kinkier" by Morpheus

Many people I encounter have questions, and I’m on a mission to answer them!

“Does it hurt?”

“I’m a guy, does wanting strap-on play make me gay?”

“Does it feel good for the wearer?”

“How do I find the right fit?”

I’ll cover these and more in my upcoming posts, I will also be getting some expert answers and tips! If you, or anyone you know, has any questions… just leave a comment here, tweet @ScarlettSeraph using the tag #StrapOnSchool, or email ScarlettSeraph@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous. No question is off limits!

If you haven’t done it, don’t forget to enter my Strap-On Giveaway!

Over the next month I will be addressing all aspects of strap-on sex and pegging. There will be articles, interviews and more… Reviews will include Tristan Taormino’s Guide to Pegging, harnesses from RodeoH and SpareParts HardWear, and feature a bunch of lovely Tantus products for your pegging pleasure!

Tantus is so dedicated to your pegging endeavors, that they are allowing me to give away a Bend Over Intermediate Kit in your choice of color, Purple Haze or Black! This includes a harness (yes, it fits plus sizes too!) and two dildos to help you get started! This contest is open to international winners, however, you will be responsible for any fees or customs charges levied by your country. Just use the form below to enter, giveaway runs from now until the end of the month, I will announce the winner on 9/30. So enter to win, and remember to check back all month for strap-on goodness!

This Giveaway is closed, The Sin Doll won and chose the Black Bend Over Kit from Tantus. Thanks to all who entered, and come back soon, there are more giveaways to come!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
 

Penis cupcakes for all!

It’s officially been one year since I started seriously reviewing toys, and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve found some wonderful new toys, and some terrible ones. I’ve made fabulous friends, and I’ve learned a lot. I feel very grateful that sometime last year I found Epiphora’s blog and subsequently decided to try my hand, and vagina, at reviewing.

As much as I’ve enjoyed what I’ve done, I’m going to take a few things in a new direction. I’m doing away with some old features, and bringing in some new ones. I’ll also be expanding the scope of my reviews, adding some books and porn to the mix! I have an unbelievable list of reviews to get through, and there are some great toys on the list! I’ve also had requests for more kink related posts, those of you who have asked will be getting your wish very soon!

In addition to new recurring features, I’ll be taking on a monthly theme for a while. You can expect topical articles, interviews and reviews, as well as some giveaways. In fact, I’ll be back later today to announce my September theme and giveaway, so stay tuned!

I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who has supported me over the last year. Epiphora for getting me started, and all the other wonderful reviewers I’ve met along the way. Manufacturers, like Tantus, and stores like GoodVibes who have given me all sorts of wonderful things to review. But most of all, each and every person who reads this! I hope that you find something that is beneficial to you in some way, that I have entertained or educated you. If there is ever anything I can do to help someone, just let me know! I hope to continue reviewing for a long time, and I hope to improve over the next year and become even better. So thanks to everyone who has come with me on this journey so far, and I hope you’ll continue with me in the future!