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Review: I Rub My Duckie

I’ve been eyeing the I Rub My Duckie for a little while now. Sure, it’s cute. But does it really work? Is it practical?

Well, I finally gave in and requested one from Babeland, and they were awesome enough to send one to me. To answer the questions: No, it isn’t practical. Yes, it works enough to make up for it’s impracticality.

The I Rub My Duckie is a vibrator made by Big Teaze Toys. It is listed as 5″ by 3″ on Babeland’s site, though it is obviously varied. One of my favorite things it that not only is it made from phthalate-free PVC, but the package even lists that it is free of lead and heavy metals (this study shows there can be problems in that department). It comes in a plastic oval display that would probably be silly for storage, but it aesthetically pleasing and entirely unoffensive. The Duckie runs on 2 AA batteries, is easy to clean (care info) and totally waterproof (as one would hope). It is also incredibly adorable which makes it difficult for me to not anthropomorphize it. But what good does it do to have a cute vibrator that doesn’t work, none at all. Which is why I’m happy to report that this is not one of those cases.

To operate the Duckie you simply push down on it’s back. Once for on, again for the second and third speeds or to turn it off. You do have to cycle through all three to turn it off, and there are no patterns. The effort went into cute, not high tech. The first speed is nothing to write home about, unless you’re really sensitive or into light teasing. But the second speed is respectable and the third is enough to reasonably get me off. Everyone I’ve shown this toy to (more people than I’d care to admit at this point) was surprised to see how powerful it actually is. In fact, this weekend the pet and I were hosting a holiday party/surprise birthday party and I brought the Duckie out. Several of us ended up mostly or entirely nude and in the pool, and our friend here went with us. It was night time, and cold (for swimming, though the fact that we can get in the pool at all this time of year means I can’t complain). When we gave up Duckie migrated with us to the shower, we girls wanted to warm up and took the duck with us. The next morning when the pet was showering I could hear him singing a perverted version of “Rubber Ducky” that involved the word penis, so that was interesting.

Back to the intended application. One might think that this toy would be awkward to use, and I expected that as well. In reality, it is and it isn’t. I was surprised at how easy it was to nestle the tail between my labia and against my clit. This is my preferred method of use, since the vibrations transfer very well into the tail and I can press down with it to my heart’s content. The other main way of achieving clit stimulation (this isn’t really an insertable, though someone this weekend thought it was) is to use the beak. The vibrations in the head are weaker, but if you get the beak right on your clit it will actually cup it and makes for an interesting experience. It isn’t enough to get me off that way, but it’s a fun warm up on my way to the tail.

Overall, this is a fun toy. You could leave it sitting somewhere and no one would know what it was unless they picked it up. It does work for me, and is exceedingly cute. I’m not going to call it a “must have” because it isn’t something I’ll use regularly. But it would make a fun gift, and would be ok for a newbie since it is non-threatening in appearance. For me, it’s enjoyable and will definitely see more use when the weather is warmer and I take it back in the pool more. For others it might be a fun bath companion. Either way, I kind of can’t help but smile when I see it’s adorable eyes, even more when I think about that tail.

The I Rub My Duckie can be found at Babeland!

Side note: I am not a fan of cutesy phrases or terrible puns in reviews (with a few exceptions). But I would like to share with you the phrases that were suggested to me, that I spared you having to experience as part of my review. “The ultimate party fowl” and “ruffled my feathers”. You’re welcome.