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Review: Tri-O Couple’s Cock Ring

I’ll admit it, I’m becoming a bit of a toy hoarder. I am amassing quite a collection, and I’m pretty proud of it. I also play well with others, meaning that I’m willing to share my toys with my partner… this mostly means he’ll be my guinea pig, but there are perks for him too. So one afternoon when I was perusing toys, I decided to let the pet (more on this later, if you’re from Twitter you’ll understand) pick something out. He decided on the Tri-O cock ring, despite my reservations, I requested it for review.

The Tri-O “Triple Pleasure Ring” is made by The Screaming O, it comes in a package that I would expect to find in a Spencer’s and proclaims “Keep ‘Em Screaming!” According to the Good Vibes site it is made of Elastomer (care info), the packaging does not state what it is made from. It should be used with condoms or fluid bonded partners only, please keep away from your silicone toys! It is super stretchy, mine is clear and the vibrators are white. It is waterproof and claims to run for 60 minutes, the batteries are replaceable (LR 1130)

The design is unlike any cock ring I’ve used before, most vibrating models have the ring with a vibrator attached to the top. The Tri-O doubles that, with two rings and two vibrators. The top ring goes around the base of the penis, with the vibrator on top. The bottom ring, or “The BALLER,” as the packaging calls it, stretches to hold the testicles. The second vibrator will then be in position under the penis. There are textured areas on the vibrators and a nub called the “Taint Tickler” at the base of the bottom ring. The vibrators are easy enough to operate, there is a button on the end of each that you push to turn on or off. They are both relatively quiet and buzzy feeling. The pet is of pretty average penis size, both length and girth, so I tried it on a few of my larger-than-average toys. The ring is very stretchy, so it has no problem fitting on larger cocks, though I can’t tell you if it would feel more restrictive. It starts out the size  of a large thumb, so I feel pretty safe in saying that it will accommodate pretty well any cock size.

Time came to try this thing out, and I went to stretch the top ring over his cock. The first thing I noticed is that there is a smaller piece of plastic on the inner sides of the ring (you can see them in the product photo), this piece needs to be grabbed and stretched as well or it will twist and drag as you put the ring on. Once the ring was firmly in place at the base of his penis, I went about wrangling his balls. That wasn’t happening. They clearly were not interested in my handling of them, I think maybe they knew what was coming… and knew, better than we did, that it was a bad idea.

He finally got the bottom ring to stretch around and under his testicles, and I’ll be honest, it didn’t look comfy. The pet’s balls are not particularly dangly or large, this is not normally a problem. However, when you try and band them down, they get squished and turn purple… I was a little afraid for them.

We turned on the top vibrator, which he couldn’t feel at all. Then we turned on the bottom vibrator, which made him squeal. While he said that it wasn’t unpleasant, it also didn’t really do anything positive for him either. The vibrators are removable, should you prefer to do that. They each have a button on one side that is relatively easy to push, this turns them on and off. The vibrations are buzzy and light, not enough to really do anything spectacular. Fortunately, they are also fairly quiet.

With everything in place, we went to actually start having sex, this is where things began to fall apart.

First he stood up to get into position and one of his balls popped out of the lower band. Saying this was unpleasant for him would be an understatement. I’m actually a little surprised he wanted to keep going, but he’s a trooper. When he went to take the band off his balls, not wanting to risk further injury, it got all tangled in his hair and pulled. Then the lower vibrator crapped out on us, the top one kept going on and off, but the bottom died entirely after only minutes of use.

When we finally got to the sex portion of the ordeal it just wasn’t working for us. In missionary position the vibe did hit near my clit, but it is only when he thrusts and isn’t strong, so it wasn’t enough to do me any good. I would like to have tried it cowgirl, so I could maintain more consistent contact, but the top vibe died too (and nowhere near the alleged 60 minute mark).

At one point I just said “is this doing anything for you?” Of course, it wasn’t. In fact, it was really just distracting for both of us… So off it came so that we could cum. There was really no added benefit for either of us, and too many things went wrong… GOOD TOYS SHOULDN’T HURT.

Between the dead vibrators and pain, we won’t be using this one again. Top it off with obnoxious packaging and you have a real winner. The only people who I think might enjoy this ring are people who enjoy crappy jelly vibe rings (like they sell in vending machines in some states) and want something a step up. While the vibrators crapped out on us, the thing does seem nearly indestructible. The pet tried to hulk it to death after we’d given up, it didn’t break. Plus, despite extreme stretching, it did go back to it’s original shape. I’d recommend that you only use it if you have a longer or stretchier scrotum and not much body hair…. or you’re into CBT, but that’s a post for a different day.

Unfortunately the Tri-O  Couples Cock Ring only brought sadness, disappointment and testicular torture for us. However, if you want to brave it, you can find one here, I wish you the best of luck!

Thanks to the awesome folks over at Good Vibes for sending me the Tri-O to review!